The Mind of a Closet Nympho

For you all who have read over my posts, gasped from shock and gone hard from all of my confessions, you may have wonder what ever possessed me to ever reveal such intimate details about my sex life to complete strangers who are probably as horny and I am? What is it about me that brings you back to this blog of mine?

In my every day, average life, I am seen as reserved, quiet, silly, and pretty conservative. I unconsciously convey innocence and a goody-two-shoe persona that it drives me crazy. Sometimes I feel like I’m an invisible person, inside wanting to be seen as a sex goddess, but feeling like I’ve been passed by, unintentionally, because I’m not instantly as outgoing as other people. I tend to be in my shell, observing people and their actions, quiet and awkward, the type who would “keep appearances”. I tend to isolate myself, not because I’m being a snob, but because I’m shy and do horribly in situations where I don’t know anyone. I’m the type that people don’t look twice at, and then I end up just being friends with them, mainly because they don’t see me as anything more than friends, the usual story.

More often than not, I get sick and tired of being the “innocent”-looking one. I’m tired of always being passed on by, and then always having to become the aggressor because people see me as “fragile”. I’m tired of having to play the “friend”. I’m tired of acting like an invisible person. I’m tired of always having to do the right thing, always losing her first chance, then getting leftovers in the end.

Writing in this blog makes me feel worthwhile. Inside of me is an exhibitionist wanting to burst out at the seams, wanting to show the world what she can do. The inside of me wants someone to notice who I really am, without having to second-guess or do double takes when it comes to the things I’ve done. I want to show the world that I’m not sexless, or neutral, but someone who is burning-hot from wanting to get fucked.

On the flip side, I feel as if I attract the wrong type of people sometimes. The ones that get attracted to me get attached way too soon, that it freaks me out and I perceive things as stalker-ish. They also end up being people I’m not attracted to physically, but they end up being attracted to me. Or they end up being attached to someone else, or just plain WEIRD, in a bad way. It’s just plain bad luck in my end, to have to deal with it sometimes. Maybe I’m just neurotic that way.

I need someone that would be my equal. Someone that is cute, but not completely hot, and someone that finds me attractive, all the same. Someone that isn’t too old, or too young, and definitely someone that can satisfy me. Someone that I can still be more than friends with, be interested in me, have some kind of spark, and fuck me until the break of dawn…and did I mention not someone bad-WEIRD and a good fuck? :-D