Playing the Mistress

I've discovered another sexual side of myself that I never considered myself ever doing in not only a sexual realm, but a relationship realm as well – playing the “mistress”. Mind you, I'm pretty familiar playing the “mistress” within the BDSM realm, but to be the “other woman” in a sexual relationship is definitely very new to me, so usually against my morals (or whatever is left of them), but I find myself highly fascinated about this world, regardless of how dangerous and taboo this situation is for me, for the person I'm sleeping with, and the woman who is completely oblivious to the situation.

Although I've been badly burned in the past by an emotional affair that wrecked the way I viewed relationships from that moment forward, playing the mistress gives me such an adrenaline rush. I find it highly enticing and addicting that this man, who is already happily with someone else (minus the nonexistent sex life), would risk everything – his company, his relationship, his career reputation – in order to have his mouth on my clit, his fingers in my pussy, and scream in the throws of sexual passion until I find myself sweating from the intense orgasm he gave me, waiting over 10 minutes to catch my breath from panting so hard from my ORGASM. It makes me feel so powerful that my scent drives him crazy, that whatever I wear – regardless if it's a T-shirt-and-track pants day or a somewhat conservative business casual attire – makes him want me, the nearness of my presence makes his body literally warm and his cock hard with sexual desire whenever I walk into the room. It is that power I crave, that instant boost of ego and sexual confidence, that makes me feel on top of the world, like I'm invincible, even though I know how totally WRONG the situation really is.

I've often wondered why I've had such a change of heart and decision about this situation. Why am I allowing this to happen when I've been badly hurt by someone else through their cheating? Why am I callous about the other woman's potential feelings of hurt and betrayal? Is it because I know that I'm satisfying her man and not she? Is it that he finds me more sexually desirable than she? Is it because he finds me more of his sexual equal than she? Or is it that I've already justified in my mind that this is okay to do mainly because he has made his decision, and he's the one who can hurt her more than anyone can imagine?

The only problem I find about this situation is the massive guilt he has laid on himself every time something happens between us, which is completely understandable. Knowing that he has a conscience and a heart means he really is a good guy after all, that he doesn't want to hurt her at all, he just finds me so desirable that making me cum in his mouth gives him the greatest thrill and the greatest guilt trip possible.

I'm not sure as to how far I can take this sexual relationship, but it would definitely be interesting as this pans out. I will have to ponder on this some more as the days move forward...